What is it really like to be a social media influencer? Behind the glitter and glam you see on the photos and videos they post, the influencer is really just a human being trying to get a message across and make a living at the same time. But with their unique position in this digital society comes a set of unique challenges. In this episode, Bethany Mortellaro is joined by lifestyle social influencer Tori Terrell, also known as Tori J. Throughout the conversation, they talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly of the influencer life and the lessons they learned along the way. Tune in and get a glimpse of the influencer life behind the lens!
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Ever Wonder What It’s Like To Be A Social Media Influencer? Bethany Interviews Tori Terrell To Get Her Perspective
I am so excited for our guest in this episode. If you have ever wondered what it is like to be a full-time social media influencer, this is a treat for you. Miss Truly Tori J comes with a give-it-to-you straight personality, her mix-in Mondays, blonde hair, and iconic red lips. I love her. Welcome.
I’m excited to be here, Bethany. Thank you so much for having me.
Tori and I hit it off years back when we were both starting our influencing journey and you took off with it. Life got in the way of mine with three kids and everything else. Tells us about it. I see it on your Instagram. You started your first post on February 16th, 2015, which I’m sure in the beginning, it was fun sharing like, “Here I am at college. Here I am with my friends.” At what point did you say, “I like to take this to an influencer level?”
My first picture was in 2015 when I was in college. Instagram was getting big but I didn’t do it for social influence. I did it because I wanted to post my party clothes. I didn’t start wanting to social influence until 2020. That is when COVID hit. I had started a new job. My husband is a police officer. I was alone all the time and didn’t have any social interaction. One night, I was lying in bed. I was like, “I want to change my handle on Instagram to something cool.
What was your handle before?
It was just Tori. I had 80 pie and Greek letters in there. My middle name was Jordan. I was like, “I’m going to put Truly Tori J.” As soon as I did it, I started getting random followers. I’m like, “People must think that I’m a social influencer because I changed my handle. This is a big deal.” I started taking bad pictures I would not even post of myself, like a headshot. I would come home from work and post dumb stuff like me on the couch with wine. I would think I was cool.
You can’t say it was dumb stuff because that is what everybody has done. It is the chapters of your influencing.
I felt dumb but I did it. My husband would look at my stuff and be like, “What are you doing? Why are you posting that you are watching Netflix, drinking your wine, and trying to get people to buy the beanie on your head?” I’m like, “I don’t know. People are doing it. You are supposed to get people to buy your clothes.” I had no idea what I was doing.
I have seen people like bigger influencers like Krista Horton, who I love so much in the world. We have followed her since she was starting. She has 1.7 million followers. She is huge. I have seen her do a like-to-know-it page. I’m like, “I want to do that too.” I applied and started posting stuff on there. It turned into something. It started getting bigger. I met people like you and my best friend, Miranda.
You met your best friend on social media.
I did.
Is she local in your town or out of town?
The first time I met her was on my bachelorette trip. We have been best friends for several years. I met her as soon as I started. We had never seen each other in person. We talked on the phone every single day. We knew everything about each other. She knew everything about my marriage, siblings, family, and me. I shared everything with her. I got engaged in December of 2021. I called her. I’m like, “I want you to be at my wedding.” She was like, “We are doing this.” We booked a trip to Charleston for my bachelorette trip. That was the first time I had ever seen her in person. The second time was at my wedding.
What was that like? You have pretty much opened your heart and soul to somebody. They know the ins and outs of you, the things that you love that make you tick. You are here meeting somebody in person for the first time. How was that?
We were so nervous. Miranda wouldn’t care for me telling this. I was sitting in the suburban at the airport. We are waiting on her to come out. It is me, my sister Tessa, and my cousin Hannah. My family is close-knit. We don’t let people in. Normally, our best friends are each other. It is like our sisters and three cousins, and that’s it. We don’t let other people come into our circle. Miranda was the outcast. She was coming in. My cousins and sisters were unsure about it. They are like, “Do we even know if it is her? Is she going to be a person? Are we sure it is her?” I’m like, “Yes, it is.”
We had all of these theories about Miranda, whether she was true or not. She comes out. She is this little bitty thing. I thought I was short. Miranda is short. She was 4’12”. She is tiny. She comes out, looks at me, and shakes like this. We are hugging. We both got teary-eyed because it was one of those moments when you were like, “It is happening.”
She gets in the car with me. She looked over and was like, “Can I send my husband a picture of you and me together because he was scared about me traveling to a person I had never even met before?” I was like, “Yes.” It was great. We loved her. Everyone hit it off. It was a fun experience. It is funny to say that. I let someone be at my wedding that I had never met in person. People think I’m crazy.
I don’t think you are crazy. You built a friendship with her. It is getting that meeting in-person stage over. I’m sure the floodgates opened from there.
The talking doesn’t stop on she and I are together. There is never a quiet moment. We slept in the same bed that whole bachelorette trip. We were inseparable. It was fun and a great experience. I wouldn’t trade our friendship for anything. What made us close was Miranda was with me while I was building my page. We would bounce ideas off of each other and do stuff together. We were collaborating, doing giftings together, and trying to help each other. That is what bonded us. You don’t let anyone help you build your brand. That is a big deal. Not everyone is nice to want to do that. I have learned that in this industry, it is competitive. Not everyone wants to help each other.
You don't just get anyone help you build your brand. It’s a big deal. Not everyone is that nice to want to do that. This industry is competitive. Not everyone wants to help each other. Click To Tweet
With that being said, you have the help of your girlfriend, Miranda. Are you doing this solo or do you have additional help?
Are you asking if I have a managing company helping me?
An apprentice or somebody helps with your pictures, posting content, and responding.
I don’t have a managing company. I don’t use anyone outside of my family to help me. My sister Tyra is in college. She has helped me from the beginning. If you talk about somebody, she will get on the ground in the flipping water and mud to get a picture.
I like that girl.
I have to give her full credit. She is amazing. She does all my videos, stories, and pictures. She is it for me.
She is the one who’s doing all your videos, editing, and story. She is posting all that stuff. What do you do on your end? Are you coming up with the content for everything?
What we do is I will post it on my page but Tyra will do all the back ends of it. We bounce ideas off each other. I will call her and my sister Taylor who lives here. I’m like, “This is an idea of what I want to do.” They are like, “No.” I’m like, “What?” They are like, “No, we are not doing that. We are going to do this.” I’m like, “Okay.” I could not do it without them. They are so good to me. I’m lucky to have siblings in that family support to help me build my page because I wouldn’t be where I am without them helping me.
It is a lot of work. You also work a full-time job. Where do you find the time for everything else? You produce a lot of content on your pages.
I’m not going to lie. It is exhausting. Keeping myself busy is a huge priority for me because my husband isn’t here. The man works 80 hours a week. I don’t have a spouse that is constantly here with me. I need something to balance my time out. What I do is wake up early to produce content if I need to. I work during the day.
In my downtime, I will break out time to do my collaborations for brands. At night, I film stories. Tyra and I are traveling to different places to get photos. I’m doing everything. We are staying up until 1:00 editing, trying to get my stuff posted for the next day. I keep telling myself, “One day, this is going to work out. This is all going to pan out and I’m not going to have to try to balance both of them.”
I give full props to people who quit their jobs, do this full-time, take off with it, and are trying to make this their career. I give them full profit for that. In my head, I can’t make myself do that because I look at the stability I have with my job. I know that is there. That is a solid income coming in. I don’t have to worry about anything.
You know you are going to have that specific paycheck on that specific day every single week.
With social influencing, I don’t have medical insurance. I’m going to have to take it out somewhere and pay for it. I don’t know when my payments are going to hit my account. I do these collaborations but sometimes they’re 45 days out before they hit your account. They are like, “Sorry, it is going to be 30 to 45 days.” It doesn’t include weekends on your business days. You are waiting longer for the money to hit your accounts. I give complete props to people who do that because that is amazing. Your homegirl over here has much anxiety to worry about if her bills are going to get paid and where she is going to have money to go to Chick-fil-A.
Let me ask you a question in regard to your husband. Do you find that he wants to be the Instagram husband or he does not want? He supports you because he knows it makes you happy but he does not want to be a part of it.
My husband does not want to be part of any of it. He loves me. He knows it makes me happy. He does things to help me to make me successful and happy. Anything I want to do, if I want to go somewhere to get content, or if I want him to buy certain things to make my content better, he is all for it but doesn’t want to be in it.
We had this conversation before. We see these amazing couples. They are a powerhouse on any social media platform. I wanted that with my husband and I. He wanted no part of it at all, like your husband. I felt like I wanted him to join me in my excitement and happiness, plus I wanted to show my husband off because I love my husband. No marriage is perfect. I’m not going to make it seem like we are sniffing roses over here because we are not. We are living in the trenches of life with three little kids at home trying to survive. I wanted it so badly for us to be a powerhouse. It was not happening.
There is something big I do for my page. I mix drinks. I cannot take full credit for mixing Monday. My sister Taylor came up with the concept during COVID. We ran with it. It became this big thing for me and grew my page. I was sitting here on the couch with Logan. I was like, “Let’s do this fun mixing Monday. I have this big idea.” He is sitting there and looking at me. I can tell he wants to be like, “No, I’m not doing this freaking mixing Monday.” He was trying to find a nice way to say to me like, “No, I’m not doing it.” I was like, “Do you want to film it?” He was like, “I guess we could film it on Monday.” I was like, “No, we got to do it in advance.”
You got to edit and do it behind the scenes.
There is so much stuff that goes into it that people don’t realize. He was like, “I don’t think I like to be in front of the camera. It is not going to happen. I know you truly want me to be. Our wedding day was a big deal for me to be in front of a camera. That is enough. I can’t do it.” He always brings up our wedding day because we got married in December.
Your pictures are beautiful but what is pretty are your engagement photos. Those were the ones in the snow.
It was 12 degrees. My photographer was Crystal James. Fun fact, my family started her business when I was thirteen years old. We were the first family she ever took photos of.
Can we say how old you are as an influencer?
I’m 29 years old in 2023. I’m old. I know I’m getting there.
You are not. Stop it. You are not even close.
It was supposed to be an hour session. It has turned into three hours because this is what I do.
Your husband is loving every minute of this.
She lives on this huge land. Her parents have this amazing house. They have a huge pond and horses. It is beautiful. To get down to the snow, the water patches, and where it is beautiful, you have to go down a hill. I’m in these big red skinny heels and this dress that is off the shoulders. My feet are purple.
You didn’t think to bring snow boots or a wardrobe change.
At first, the snow was not there until we got there. It started snowing. We were like, “We are going to do snow pictures.” My sister Tessa and her husband Jonah were there. Jonah and Logan picked me up. There are pictures of it. They carry me down the hill. I have this huge jacket that is too big for me. It was Jonah’s. They were trying to keep me warm to get me down there. I decide I want to stand in the snow. I want these amazing pictures. I want it to be Instagram-worthy. We were down there taking pictures, Bethany, for an hour and a half in the freaking snow. My feet were so purple. I thought I had damaged them. I was like, “This is what I do for my Instagram people.”
That is when you need to bring up your mixing Monday and mix up a hot tidy.
We did take shots of Fireball once. We got up there because I got to get something to warm me up. We got to do something. He was such a trooper. My husband did whatever I wanted. The funny thing is he is so photogenic. He takes good photos but he hates the camera. He doesn’t like to be the center of attention, which is good for me because his wife loves to be. We keep each other out. We are balanced.
Here you go from taking pictures of yourself and a beanie on your couch with a glass of wine. You are chatting with your sisters. Your sister steps in and starts helping you build your image. I like to know it comes out because at first, I remember with like to know it, it was like they invited you. You can apply and they will look at your page and approve or deny. When did it start getting to a place where you are working with brands? Were you starting to say, “I love this Yeti cup. I’m going to post about it, tag them in it, hashtag them, they will see it, and start getting known that way?” Did you start personally reach to brands? How did you do that?
I didn’t know that you could reach out to brands. I went into this blind. I knew nothing about social influencing or blogging. This was me and my sisters going off by ourselves trying this out. I still don’t have a managing team or anything. It is run by me and my sisters.
Do you think that you need a managing team?
No, I don’t. There were two different managing companies I had been back and forth with. I’m going to use them but I feel like they are offering the same things I already am doing. I already can do it. I would rather have my sisters help me and be the voice than somebody else go to bat for me for my collaborations because I want to be in on it.
If I’m working with a brand, I don’t want them to have all the say-so. I want to have to say so and my flexibility when I’m going to post, how much money I’m going to make, and what I’m going to do for them. If I let somebody else do that for me, I don’t know if it is going to be what I want. I don’t trust somebody else because I’ve been doing this for so long by myself.
It is safe to say this is your baby and you want to play it by your rules. You don’t play necessarily by somebody else’s rules, especially if what you are doing is already what you are doing. Unless they can promise you the stars, why would you?
That is where I’m at. I’m like, “Unless you can show me something more you can give than what I have already given them myself, there is no point.” You are out of money working with them too. That is more work for me because I have to pay somebody else to help me do something I can already do myself.
Here you realize you can reach out to brands. How do you do that? Are you going to their actual physical websites? Are you finding them on Instagram? Are you going to another platform? How did you start?
There is a couple of ways I do it. Let’s use Dolce Vita as an example. I go to Instagram. I find their contact email, which is a button on the page. That wasn’t there when we first started out but now it is easy to find their contact information because they have a contact on these pages. I press the contact button and it brings up their emails.
I draft an email. It is very generic. I’m being honest. It is the same thing I send to everybody. I change 1 sentence or 2 to go with their brand. I’m picky about brands I want to work with because I want to work with people I love. I don’t want to post that I’m not loving, adoring, and using because I don’t want to be that false narrative to people. I don’t want to be fake. I want to be genuine with my posts.
I found that when I was influencing, people started sending you all kinds of free stuff. You are like, “This is great because it is content and collabs. Other companies will see this. I will take anything and everything.” I did one for Zevo, which was a bug-repellent. That is the best-paying gig I ever did. I’m selling bug spray. I had fun with it. I got my kids involved in it. It was the best. They were great to work with. I’m like, “Fall in love with this bug spray. Let’s go.”
It doesn’t go with your page. You are trying to find stuff that fits your niche but you are like, “That doesn’t freaking go with what I’m doing.” Speaking of your bag repellant, I got one with WeightWatchers. When I got it in the mail, Logan was like, “You are going to advertise for WeightWatchers.” I’m like, “Yes, they have offered me all this money. I’m going to do it.” It was the hardest. Bethany, I will never partner with them again. I don’t mean that in a negative way but that is the hardest collab I have ever done. They made me redo my video five times. I remember calling Miranda. I was like, “I’m done.”
You get to that level of complete and utter frustration because what you keep delivering to them is not good enough.
I did it and I wasn’t passionate about it. I posted the one-time done. They sent me a PR package in the mail when I was on vacation and I sent them an email back. I was like, “I know you sent this but I’m not posting. I don’t want to do it. I don’t stand by it. I don’t do WeightWatchers and I’m not going to be interested in it. I’m sorry.” She was understanding. She was like, “No, we want you to have the stuff. If you do want to post about it in your time, that is fine.”
You posted about it in your time. You let the dust settle, the aggravation cool down, and you posted on your time. You said that is one of your best-paying jobs.
It was one of the best paying I had ever gotten. It is something I didn’t care about. You learn as you go on the things like, “Do I want to do this for the money?” Even though the paycheck looks good sometimes, if you are not passionate about what you are talking about, don’t do it. It’s not worth it because the people on the other side of the screen can tell if you are using that product.
If you're not passionate about a product you're talking about, just don't do it. It's not worth it. People on the other side of the screen can tell if you really are using that product. Click To Tweet
Especially if they do follow you and they know your mannerisms. They pull the tone of your voice. I have been posting about something. Somebody who knows me well will text message me or private message me like, “Are you okay?” It is hard because you are in front of the camera. You got to put on that, “Let me tell you about this great product.” In your mind, you are like, “Fuck.”
You get on there and you don’t want to sound fake. What is the one line that all social influencers say when they get on their stories? It was like, “I have this brand new product I’m trying.” You are like, “I sound like a fake bitch. Let me fix this. What am I going to do to make this sound better?”
That is a good segue because how do you find that you stand out from other influencers in that way?
I don’t have to put on a personality because I have a big personality, as it is. One thing that was easy for me in this world is I had to be myself. I’m already bubbly and outgoing. I’m already the most obnoxious human you will meet when you get on new stories. I’m already there. What makes me stand out is I’m bubbly sunshine but on the days I’m not, you are going to freaking know it.
What I love about people who are authentically themselves is it is not rainbows and sunshine 24/7. They are talking to you about the struggles of their lives, what they are going through daily, or what happened. You are relatable. Instead of this smiling, bubbly, “Look at this outfit, guys. Let me mix you up a cocktail.” You are a real person.
I had to learn this part when I started because this was the part that got me down. I couldn’t financially keep up with some of the things these other influencers and bloggers were posting about and doing. They were posting their Louis Vuitton bags and this and that. What can you do to make your Louis Vuitton bag organized inside?
I remember watching a video. I remember watching her story and the blogger is amazing. She sits her Louis Vuitton up there. She is showing how she bought this product from Amazon to organize the inside of her bag. I remember thinking to myself, “I can’t keep up with these people. I want to be what she is and have all of these amazing things but I can’t do it.” I almost gave up because I was like, “This ain’t for me. I can’t do it. I don’t have the money. No one wants to shop and follow somebody.”
Did you find it in the beginning or even maybe still? We have talked about this. I was spending money faster than I was making it because I was trying to keep up with the Joneses. You get to a point where you are like, “I’m going to buy this and return it.” You are seeing the same person and returning. I’m wearing this outfit and then returning it. You feel like a criminal because you keep buying and returning it. It is like you are borrowing it for a second. You are pegged as that person. All the stuff you are buying on Amazon. You are back at the UPS. You returned it but it was financially draining.
I was going to stop. I couldn’t keep up. I was like, “I’m done. I’m not going to do this to myself. I got to eat tomorrow. We are not going to go. I’m not going to drain my account to keep up with the Nordstrom cell. I can’t do it because the anniversary sale’s a big deal and I wanted to post about it. I’m buying the stuff.” At the end of the day, I couldn’t keep up. I’m being honest.
What did you do to change your game?
I remember telling my sisters, “I’m done.” They were like, “No, you are not. You are going to post stuff you wear and love. People are going to be relatable to affordable items. Not everyone can go out and buy the $2,000 Louis Vuitton bag. They can go out and buy the $20 purse at Target.” I started hosting things I could afford and wear. I was just me.
I think to myself all the time, “If I look at my Amazon history and what I buy on the norm every single day, I don’t need to spend any money to post about the amount of shit in my house, kids, dog, and salon.” I’m looking around at my salon. There are hundreds of things that I already own and even the clothing. Do you go in your closet? I go in mine. I don’t wear 95% of them.
I’m embarrassed about my closet. Poor Logan. He doesn’t use our walk-in closet in our bedroom because there is no space for him.
There was a point in time when I was spending too much money here. This is embarrassing. You find the lookalike. You are like, “This is this and this brand. If you could find it, it would be awesome. I will try to find it for you. I will help you.” I found a lookalike.
I do it all the time. I was like, “I’m wearing Lululemon and Free People dress now. I have seen it in Free People. I loved it. I was like, “I’m not freaking paying that for that dress.” I have seen other people posting it. I’m like, “I want it. I have seen her in a pink one. I liked it.” My mom, believe it or not, found this dress on Amazon. She sent it to me. She was like, “Tori, you need to order this.” I was like, “I do.” I got it in. It looks like the freaking Free People dress.
It is a fraction of the price. I’m sure it was two-day Prime shipping.
Yes, I got it in a few days. I didn’t even have to go anywhere to get it. I didn’t have to wait freaking a week to get my product. It came overnight. I try to do things like that. I try to be relatable, real, and not to stress out about who is following me and who is not.
Do you ever find that you overthink it?
All the time.
When I was influencing full-time, I obsessed more with overthinking things than if I had told myself to shut up and spit it out there. I listen to a lot of Grant Cardone. He was like, “Even if they are talking good or bad about you, stick and out there. Put your content out there because if you don’t put it out there, good or bad, nobody is going to see it anyways. What is the point?”
I agree with that. I learned that the hard way. This was several years ago. I had a famous YouTuber. She is super big on YouTube. She made this YouTube making fun of celebrities and influencers on how they post their pictures and what they do to edit them. She made fun of me and I was in her video. You can go look it up. I’m sure it is still on YouTube. I don’t think she took it off. I had so many people sending me this link. I’m like, “Why is my inbox blowing up?” I was feeling popular. I was like, “People want to talk to me. This is how Krista Horton feels every day.”
No, it wasn’t positive. It was like, “I wanted to give you this warning. You are in this video.” I watch it. I immediately start crying. She got this picture of me. I left that picture of me that she posted. I thought I looked good. He made fun of my smile. She said that she didn’t think my eyes were blue. She thought I was wearing contacts. I don’t wear contacts. My eyes are blue.
It was not even a minute. I was on there and was off. The next picture was Kim Kardashian. I felt better because I was like, “If you made me in this video as Kim Kardashian, I made it.” I got down and handled it in a bad way at first. I’m texting my siblings. We are all family groupmates, all seven of us. I’m like, “That bitch posted me.” I get on Instagram. I’m still upset. I’m talking about it in my story and addressing this girl about the YouTube video that she posted about me.
You are addressing her directly. Are you tagging her?
I didn’t tag her but if she had seen the video, she would be aware that it was about her. I am trying to handle it in a good way but it wasn’t a good way. At the end of my video, I tell her I’m going to pray for her because this is bad that she has posted this. If I could go back and talk to that Tori, I would be like, “No, don’t acknowledge it because if people are posting or talking about you, you are getting publicity. Who cares? Good or bad, you are getting out there. Who cares if she posted about you? She has a million followers on YouTube and everyone knows about you. Who gives a frig?” At that moment, it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
I can’t even believe that story. You are going to have to tell me what that is. Do you find that the criticism from people you don’t know stings more than people you do know or is it vice versa?
It is vice versa. I take it harder from people I know personally or connected with online than if some random stranger, like some Joe, comments on my picture and says something about what I’m wearing, makes fun of my figure, or whatever he wants to say.
I will never forget the first insult I ever got. I posted a cute picture at the beach. I had a black and white hat on. I’m sure it is still up there on my Instagram. I had a black and white scalp bag, which I love because it is vinyl. You can rinse them off the sand. I had a black bathing suit. It was a whole lot of black and white. Somebody made a comment, a man, about how I reminded them of the Hamburglar from Burger King. I’m like, “How dare you?” Now, I’m like, “That was smart. I got to hand it to that guy.”
That popped into my head. I was like, “That was good.”
At that moment, I was so mortified. I should have left it up there. I deleted it because I didn’t want anybody else to see that somebody was criticizing me. People are going to criticize you no matter what the hell you do. It does sting at first. You got to build that alligator skin and desensitize yourself from it, which is not always easier said than done but with time, it does come.
People are going to criticize you no matter what you do. It stings at first. You just need to build that alligator skin and desensitize yourself from it. Click To Tweet
I have thicker skin now than when I started. If I had seen that video now and it got posted about me, I probably would have laughed, made it a joke, and moved on. Being in that moment, it was a disaster for me. It was the worst thing.
When you are reaching out to certain brands, and they deny you, what is your go-to? Do you keep moving forward? Do you keep sending that brand? Do you keep after them?
Different bloggers and influencers do this in different ways. I have friends that continue to message me but I’m so stubborn. I’m like, “If they don’t want to partner with me, I don’t want them.” I don’t message them back. I’m like, “If they have denied me once, I don’t want to do it again. I don’t care.” There are people I’m close with that will continue to nag. I’m like, “How do you do that?” I have so much self-pride and I’m the most stubborn human I could ever be.
The brand will eventually bite those people.
Yes, sometimes it works. I know one girl that does it all the time. She gets big brands. I cannot make myself do it.
When you are reaching out to brands, are you sending them a comp card or is it just a friendly email?
First, it is an email to see if there is interest like, “I drop my Instagram handle.” I let them know what I do. If they are interested, here is how. I feel like we are fit for each other. “Look at my page and let me know.” That is when they will come back. Maybe they have a budget they are dealing with. They are like, “We only want to do X amount.” I will send my rating card. I will be like, “Here is my media kit and my ratings. This is what I will do for you.”
For people who don’t know what a media kit is, can you explain what that is?
I feel like a celebrity sometimes when I have one. When you go to these acting classes, you have to have a folder that has to be a picture of you, a bio, and a little bit about what you do, what you offer, your engagement rates for your page, how many followers you have, and your demographics. After that, you go into your ratings and why you have your ratings set the way they are. People do this a little differently but the way to know what you are worth is by the engagement rate of your page.
I remember there was some formula.
There is a formula. I can’t remember what it is. You take your followers times the percentage. I don’t know. I’m not sure.
Where do you go for a media kit?
You can get these from different businesses. They sell them. I went through Etsy and got mine. A lady went ahead and did my whole layout for me. I made mine the way I wanted it. You can buy templates, hire a managing company to do those media kits for you, or download the Canva app and make one yourself. There is no set way on how to do it. It is what is best for you in general.
I can open up my phone. I had a ridiculous amount of Storytime, Canva, and StoryArt. StoryArt was the one that you told me about a long time ago. What are some apps that you find are super user-friendly and great for producing content?
I use Canva daily. I love it. I paid for the subscription because you get so many great things with it. I like CapCut for my videos. If I’m going post the TikTok or reel, we video it on my phone. We will upload it to CapCut and do all the editing there because it makes everything flow. They add transitions. That is the main two apps I use daily.
I always found Canva to be awesome, especially when you are doing collage things. This is fantastic. When I would do all my Pinterest boards, you put the text on there. It is user-friendly.
For all of my collages, I would go through Canva. You can do the media kits there. If I don’t want to send my whole media kit and I only want to send ratings, I will get on there and make that. There is so much it has to offer on there. Each app has different dimensions for the size of the photos you upload. Canva adjusts to that. If I want to upload it on Instagram, I change the size. If I want to take it to LIKEtoKNOW.it, it changes the size. I love that app so much.
Can you share any moments when you have had to step outside of your comfort zone?
As soon as freaking Instagram went from photos to reels, I thought I was going to have hyper vanity. I was like, “No, this isn’t working. I’m done. We are not doing this.” It is weird for me because I’m not socially awkward. I’m not a person that caress to put myself out there. It was scary to video myself. I looked back on my first reel and it was awful.
With stories, you know they are only there for 24 hours and they go away. A picture is a still frame shot of you. It is a picture. With a reel, it is there for good.
People can’t save your stories. That is my thing. They can go on there and save it. They can send my page to somebody to look at my story or they can send it while it is on there because there is an option to send the story to somebody on Instagram.
I like the option that you can turn your story into a reel.
They started doing that.
That is convenient. I haven’t been on Instagram. I used to be influencing. I was up-to-date on everything. I was on all the forums. I feel like I have entered a whole new world.
You got to have that blue check mark.
How do you get the blue check mark?
Let me tell you about the blue check mark.
It means that you are authentically you.
You are Meta verified. Celebrities got it. People who hit a certain amount of followers had this blue check mark. You were given the blue check mark by Meta and Instagram. They didn’t give it to anybody. Anybody and their mom can get on there and pay for the blue check mark a month if they want it.
What is the fee to pay for the blue check mark?
I pay $14.99 a month.
Does having that blue check mark also protect your name?
It does. This is truly you and nobody can take that. This is your page. There is meaning behind it but it is funny because anybody can get it if they want it. It is all money scams on Instagram.
Nowadays, anybody can just get the blue check mark if they want it. It's all money scam on Instagram. Click To Tweet
Megachurches, Instagram, and Christian concerts. I don’t care what it is. Everything is money base.
The worst thing that happened on Instagram is they used to pay you for your reels. I would make money off of that. Now, they don’t do that.
It brings me to something else. Do you have a marketplace on Instagram? Is that something?
You can have your shop. I have one but I have not posted anything on there. I still don’t know how to use it, if I’m being honest. Many things change daily there. You get up-to-date with something and they freaking put something else on there. They came out with a Threads app. Did you hear about Threads?
This is the first I’m hearing it.
Thread is the new Twitter. Instagram’s and Facebook’s creator came up with Threads. It’s an app like Twitter but it is through Instagram. You download the app. It transfers your Instagram bio and your stuff over. You have the choice if you want to add everybody off your Instagram page to your Threads. You can say anything on there. It is like Twitter. It is whatever you are thinking at that moment.
Are you on Twitter?
I’m not on Twitter. I have not been on Twitter since I was maybe a sophomore in college. I quit. I don’t know why I did. Instagram started being a bigger thing when I was in college. We were more concerned about pictures than tweeting. The last tweet that I tweeted on Twitter was when Hannah and I were in our dorm. We were telling the president of the university that he needed to cancel classes because the snow was up to our knees and we didn’t want to walk in it the next day. That was the last time that she and I ever got on Twitter.
The only time I got on Twitter was when everybody was talking about Trump’s tweets. I downloaded Twitter so I could see what everybody was talking about. I’m not on Twitter and Snapchat. I’m not on a lot of these things. I find I can do Instagram. TikTok is a whole other ballgame for me. It is much easier because you are posting your video. I find it a little bit more user-friendly. There are not many outlets and markets. You got this number for me. Going back to how people can make money in this, get your media kit and reach out to brands. I did a lot of Amazon. Do you have an Amazon storefront?
I draw a lot of my money from my Amazon storefront. I tried to do Amazon items more than anything. I’m trying to build my storefront more than use my LIKEtoKNOW.it because Amazon is not going anywhere. Everyone loves Amazon. Everyone has an Amazon Prime. You can buy dupes on Amazon for half its price. I try to link relatable items off Amazon’s everyday uses off Amazon that people are going to relate to and want to buy.
Do you find that Amazon is easy to work with or there are a lot of rules and they are constantly slapping you on the wrist?
This might be different for people. I know bloggers whose pages are specifically Amazon. They don’t shop anywhere else. They are Amazon influencers. They might have a different look on this because I work with them so much but I have never had a run-in. That is once I start building my page more and getting more acquainted with how things work. As of now, I love it. It is easy. You can draw your paycheck and get a direct deposit, or it can go straight to your Amazon account, and you can use your Amazon money for anything on there.
How great is that?
It works out for me. I like it. It is easy. People love it.
This is something that I always found to be so frustrating when I was knee-deep in influencing. The algorithm changes. How do you deal with the algorithm changes? People that I was watching several years ago were 1,500 likes and were booming. I was looking back at their pages and then they are at 112 likes. What is that all about?
This happened to me before. I was getting all of these reel views and likes. It was so good and then Instagram changed the game. You wake up the next morning and you are like, “What the hell happened? I only have 1,000 views on this video. I went from 30,000 to 1,000 views overnight. That doesn’t make sense.”
It is nothing that the influencer or anybody in general, no matter what you guys are, is doing wrong. It is that Instagram changes its algorithm all the time. If they want to push reels out, that is what you are going to see. They never want to push pictures out over reels. It is changing the game. Everyone was like, “Are we going back to posting pictures all the time?”
Are you saying they want to see more pictures again?
Yes.
Where do you go for your source of keeping up with what you should be doing on Instagram? Do you watch YouTubers? Do you go straight to Zuck? He will post videos all the time.
No, I don’t do any of those things. I watch what other influencers are doing. There is a feature on Instagram where you can show your story to a certain amount of people whom you choose to see your story at that time. A couple of other influencers and bloggers are wearing each other’s stories. One blogger, in particular, posts updates all the time. She keeps up with that because she is a social manager herself. She helps other people grow their pages. She keeps up-to-date on all of this. I normally go and watch her stories, see where she’s at on this stuff, flow with what they’re doing, and try to keep up. I don’t think there is any right or wrong way. There is no keeping up with Instagram.
There's no right or wrong way. There's no keeping up with Instagram. Click To Tweet
I used to watch so many from the moment I got up because that is the time that I do bathroom time by myself. The whole family is still sleeping. I get my coffee, go in the shower, and get ready for the day. Right out of the gate, I’m on YouTube listening to different videos of this update. I was crazy about it because this person was saying this and that. You can’t keep up with the algorithm. It is insane.
The funny thing is we can watch those videos but do those people know?
The magic formula is 2 reels, 1 pose, and 10 stories. Is that the magic formula?
I can tell you this. I have not changed my ways in how I do my stories and pictures. I was still posting pictures when they said reels needed to be out before pictures. I still fluctuate. I’m booming with engagement and my story views. All of that is going great. Tomorrow I might not get the same engagement I’m receiving now.
What is your schedule? Do you post seven days a week?
I try to do 3 to 4 times a week on Instagram on a feed post. I will do three pictures and a reel. In my story, not every day. Sometimes work gets in the way. I can’t do that because my career comes before this job. I have to balance that out. I normally try to get on my story at least five times a week. If two days a week, you can’t. You don’t also want to burn yourself out because sometimes if some days of my engagement aren’t as good as I want it, I feel bad about myself. That is normal for anybody to feel that way. Even though it is not my fault, you feel that way and you don’t want to do it the next day.
What I always felt is I wanted to respond to everybody’s messages as fast as I could to let them know I uploaded this reel, picture, or story. Why is this person not getting back to me? I was always trying to stay on top of the messages. That was stressing me out because of the pressures and the demands of it that we put on ourselves.
Things will come through and you missed DMs. You feel bad, especially if it is a person that’s messaging you about a product they want or a link, and you don’t get back to them. That makes them think you are ignoring them. I had to learn not to let that stuff affect me because I would feel terrible if I looked, and several weeks later, I hadn’t messaged Savannah back because she asked for a link to a necklace. At the end of the day, Savannah wasn’t thinking about that. She didn’t care. She could care less that I didn’t message her back. It was me. I didn’t want people to see me as a bitch because I didn’t send her a message back.
You don’t want anybody to think they are ignoring you. You know this and I know this. There is a community on Instagram and I was part of it with you at one point. It’s like, “Let’s help each other. How can we help each other grow?” There are a lot of influencers, not that I want to say, that put you down. They just withhold the goods of how they got there.
I say this even when it comes to the hair salon. You find that you come across some hairstylists that are very possessive of their clients. There are hundreds of heads everywhere you look. Nobody is going to go hungry here. Whether you are a hairstylist or an influencer, if people love you, it is because they love your personality and they have connected with you on a personal level. I do find this lack of wanting to share the wealth of seeing other women grow.
Whether you're a hairstylist or an influencer, if people love you, it's because they love your personality and they've connected with you on a personal level. Click To Tweet
I agree with that statement. I experience it still. This stuff is happening. Social influencing and blogging are like anything. It is competitive. Nobody wants you messing with their stuff. They do not want you in their circle. They have a group of friends they are with and they don’t want to welcome anybody else in.
Why do you feel that is?
I don’t know. I can’t figure it out because I live in an area in Kentucky where there are not a lot of social influencers and bloggers. People are trying to keep up with it anyways. They might start but they quit. There is no consistency like I’m doing it. About 30 minutes down the road in Lexington, there are a few bigger bloggers. I have reached out to them and tried to communicate with them. You get shot down because they don’t want you in their group.
I don’t know if it is because my follower amount isn’t what their follower amount is. I feel like that has a lot to do with it. In my situation, it has been because one of the girls has 240,000 followers and I have 44,000 followers. To them, maybe they feel like they don’t want to welcome somebody in that group that doesn’t have that big following. I think that is what it is. I don’t know. I can’t speak on their behalf on that. I try not to judge people but that has been my experience. If I try to talk to someone who has more followers than me or try to do giveaways with people who have more followers than me, they do not want to do them.
Let me make this clear to everybody because this is something I learned over and over again when I was influencing. Just because somebody has a larger number of followers, it doesn’t even necessarily mean that those are real followers. It is just a number. It is all about your engagement. You can be a new influencer and have 500 followers but if your engagement rate is good, that is what people care about. They don’t necessarily care about the number.
That is what people don’t realize. It has nothing to do with your amount of followers. It has to do with what percentage of those followers are following you or engaging with your stuff. I get it. The number looks great. I want more followers.
If you see your number growing, it makes you feel good.
That is why you want to do these giftings with other bloggers. You want to do these things to help grow your page.
You tried to reach out to these girls in Lexington in your area but they denied you.
I want to be clear. It wasn’t that they were mean. It was they didn’t respond. They would read it and leave me unread. It would be very dismissive. They would respond to the beginning. Once I would relate to wanting to communicate, hang out, or meet up, it was a no. I don’t mean that these bloggers don’t work for this or these social influencers aren’t working for this because I know social influencers who are working their ass off that have this advantage of what I’m about to say. Is that an advantage for these people who are in cities like Nashville or Texas? There are a ton of bloggers and events happening there.
If you know a blogger that has 450,000 followers and she is your friend, and you have 10,000, and you are starting, she is going to help grow your page because she is going to help post you. Those people are going to see you and that gets you out there. That is an advantage to people like that. That doesn’t take away from anybody. I was trying to do that with those people in Lexington. You grow and are seen more by knowing people. It is all about who you know.
I’m not taken away from anybody. I have had great experiences with people like Krista Horton, for instance. She has a million followers. She hosted me on her story several years ago. I was at the beach. I was doing a mixing Monday. She has known for Malibu rum and Coke. That is her signature drink. Taylor and I mixed one up in the kitchen. She posted us on our story. She added me and started talking to me. She shared me on a bachelorette trip.
I got followers from her because she was sharing me. She still talks to me and follows me. She followed me on the new Threads app. There are people like her that are so genuine. I stayed up until 1:00 AM trying to figure out what I was doing. The whole time I’m laying there on the couch, I’m like, “I’m not downloading it. I’m not doing it. I don’t give a shit.” Now, I’m in it and I want it to grow. It is fun. It is another stressor for me.
What are your platforms? You have the Amazon Market, TikTok, Instagram, and Threads. Am I leaving any out?
I do have a Lemon8. It is a new app that people are using. It had its peaking point and it is dying out. I might be wrong but that is what other social influencers are thinking. It peaked for a second and it went away. I don’t push on it anymore but that was the only other one I did.
Which site do you feel is easier for you to grow on, TikTok or Instagram, for your engagement?
For me, it is Instagram because I’m already known there. I wouldn’t call myself big. I’m micro. That is easier because I’m more known there. TikTok is easier to get engagement and grow on because if you get one TikTok that goes viral, that is all you need. I just started. I’m taking it seriously where I was trying to get that momentum. I gained 1,200 followers within 2 weeks. I’m going to keep doing it. Hopefully, one of my videos will go viral and it will go.
TikTok is easier to get engagement and grow on. Once you get one TikTok that goes viral, that's all you need. Click To Tweet
Are you posting the same reel you did on Instagram and putting the same content on TikTok? Are you making different content for TikTok?
It depends. There are some things I would post on TikTok that I would not post on Instagram.
If I like TikTok, I can be a little rancher and dirty.
That side of Tori is a different Instagram side of Tori. That is what I said about the new Threads app. I threaded on my page and said, “To all my Instagram followers, Thread Tori and Instagram Tori are two different people.”
Who is Thread Tori?
I’m going to be blunter with myself on there. I don’t feel as judged on that app as I do on Instagram. In Instagram, you have to keep your shit together a little bit.
In TikTok, everything can hang out. On Instagram, I’m going to keep it clean and play safe by the rules. On Facebook, I’m not going to say shit.
It is because your Nana is watching everything you are doing. Nana is commenting on the vacation pictures. I don’t do that on there. I try to keep my Facebook pretty clean. It was just family pictures and vacations. I made a page for my blog there for people to try to keep up. I’m bad at updating that.
Something safe to say for anybody wanting to get into influencing and creating a brand for themselves is to have your landing page, meaning have your website and collect email addresses. It is so important that you work as hard on your social media as you are on your personal brand website. When everything else crashes, you still have a way of connecting and contacting people through email.
I have my blog but that is another reason why I don’t know if I will ever give up my career because Instagram will die eventually. Social influencing is at its highest peak but will it be forever?
Look at all the AI stuff coming up. That is mind-blowing. I was reading this article. There is a girl who has over a million followers on Instagram and TikTok. Now she has her AI avatar doing the job for her. People are paying a subscription to talk to her AI avatar and she is banking it.
It is insane to see what people make money off of on the internet. You are like, “Is that what you are doing? Is that all I need to do?”
Is it like the OnlyFans pages?
Yes. I was like, “If my feet were pretty, I would be selling my feet.” My feet are ugly but I would try. I was getting there the other night. I was like, “Logan, I’m about to quit my career and social influencing, and we are going here.” There is this guy and I can’t think of his name. I’m sure people will know as soon as I say this but he has a duck. His thing is OnlyFans. He is falling as crazy. My sister Taylor is an idiot. She follows him on Instagram. We were on vacation and she brought him up. She was like, “Look at this guy I follow. He does all this crazy shit to his family.” He does videos with the duck. I can’t think of his name. Everybody would find him entertaining.
What exactly is he doing with the duck?
He takes it everywhere. He has a car seat for it. He buckles it up. It is his pet. He is so funny that he got his fame and money from OnlyFans. He takes care of his family. He is a social influencer. He is on TikTok and Instagram. His pages are blown up. He will show you as he takes you on the job with him as he does these OnlyFans stuff. I’m watching it. I was like, “Is that all I needed to do?
You are going to have to send me the link to this duck man.
I’m like, “Taylor, is that what I needed to do to grow my page?” She was like, “No.” I don’t have anything. I wouldn’t go far OnlyFans. I’m flat but if I had the accessories, I would do it. I’m like, “This guy is freaking over here balling. This is crazy.”
I love the 90 Day Fiancé Show. I still watch that show. One of the Tampa family on 90 Day Fiancé, the sister-in-law, and the brother-in-law have the OnlyFans. It was based all around on her feet. It is crazy because she is banking it. More power to you. However you got to provide for your family, provide for your family.
There is no judgment from me.
I wish I could do it myself. I don’t know if I got any.
My husband is a police officer. I don’t think I will sell my body but it crosses my mind a time or two.
There are all kinds of fetishes out there for something like a thumb. You can show off your thumb in all different places. People are nuts. I don’t know if we’re growing bored as a society or what is going on.
If I was to say that on my Instagram, people would unfollow me. I’m sitting here talking about being on OnlyFans. That is another thing about Instagram.
You got to filter what you say. Leave the politics aside. Nobody wants to hear that. Religion can still be very sensitive. There is a lot that is sensitive. Even sharing true stories of things that have happened to you or experiences, you got to filter that as well.
I could be open about that but even though my husband is a police officer, I have gotten into many alter. People have messaged me about it like, “How do you feel about that? Does that bother you? He is a pig.” I remember when it was going on badly. I don’t know if you have seen it on the news. It was during COVID. They vandalized those buildings and it was crazy.
People had so many things to say during that time. I was getting terrible messages about my husband because I had posted pictures with him. He had gotten an award. He was Officer of the Year and I had posted it. People are mean. There are horrible people. I’m like, “You can have your views but I can’t have mine. Not all cops are bad just because one cop did one thing. You can’t sit here and say all this stuff about my husband. You don’t know my husband. You have no idea. You don’t know any of that.”
There is so much ignorance in that. That is like saying, “Every White person is a cracker. Every Black person is an X, Y, and Z. Every cop is a pig.” There are small-minded that you can’t say, “I believe there are some good cops and some bad cops. There are some good doctors and some bad doctors. There are some good judges and some shady judges. There are some good politicians and some shady politicians.” It is either white or black. We are all going down or we are all doing great. Come on, people.
I’m Republican and conservative. I’m open about that and I don’t care to say that. I don’t post a lot of politics on there because I’m finding that it is not well-liked for me to post about that but other people can post their stuff. That is something that has been a hard thing for me to deal with on social media. Being on there is watching everyone else post their views. I can’t post mine because they don’t like mine. That is hard to deal with. I don’t want to hide that because I’m not embarrassed to say that I am Republican and a Christian, and my husband is a police officer. I should not be ashamed of any of the things I stand for. I’m not going to be.
There is still that sense that you are going to hide it to avoid judgment and criticism and not deal with the bullshit. A thing on these sites is you can see what people are engaging with and not engaging with. For you, your mixing Mondays are soaring because everybody wants to know about the new cocktail but the new patio furniture you were talking about maybe didn’t get as many. That is another way to grow your Instagram because you are seeing what people are enjoying and liking. You are like, “I’m going to keep feeding that funnel.”
That was a hard thing for me because I don’t have a certain niche I like to post. I’m a lifestyle person. I like to post clothes, my family, my dog, and my sisters. I do stupid shit and dumb videos. I was being entertaining but I also want to post home decor and freaking mix up a damn dream. I’m a little across the board. That can be good and bad sometimes. You got to take it. I threw my penny and hoped for the best.
Have there been any influencers you fell in love with at one point and as you started getting to know them, you were like, “I don’t want to follow these people?”
Yes, there is one and it broke my heart. When you start communicating with these people one-on-one, you realize the kind of person they are. We can be who we want to be behind a camera. I can sit here and say whatever I want to. You might think that I’m the perfect human ever, I’m sweet, and my husband and I have it all together. In reality, my husband and I might be getting a divorce. My house is like shit, I would be in debt, and I’m not affording all the stuff I’m buying. I’m in debt trying to keep up with everybody. That is not me but I’m giving an example.
There was one that my sisters and I followed her forever. She would comment back on my aunt to me on our stuff and we would interact on there. I thought she was genuine. I DMed her one day. We reached out. I thought, “This will be a good connection. Maybe she and I can be friends. Let’s try to make this be plus friends.” I threw it out there to her about her shared cocktails and maybe doing one together or for my mixing Monday anniversary. She left me unread. That did it for me right there. I was like, “I would have respected her more to tell me no than to leave my ass unread.”
I look at her in a different light. I’m like, “You are not the person I thought you were because if you were a genuine human being, you would have responded to me in a very nice way and told me if you didn’t want to do it.” I’m not a monster. I would have been like,” It is no big deal.” You are going to get turned down. Not everybody wants to be your friend or do stuff with you. That is okay. There is a way to handle those situations. To leave somebody unread, I would have rather them pass me out than leave my ass unread.
Were you ever part of a group? During my whole influencing experience, there were 6 or 7 months that I was part of a private group where we would share our posts with the group, and everybody would run and comment on it. You comment on theirs. You are trying to create that engagement but the algorithm keeps seeing the same seven people doing that. You almost wonder, “Is this hindering me or launching me forward?”
I stopped engaging in that group and thought, “I am going to go onto people’s sites and Instagram pages and start communicating with the people that are communicating with them.” That is how I built my audience and my team of communication. I always wondered if that set me back because it would be the first seven people at first.
No, I understand that because I thought the same thing. People have different opinions about those groups. They are still a thing. They can be good and bad. They can hinder you. They can help you because it is engagement. You are still getting the engagement. Anything is better than no engagement. Within the first fifteen minutes, your post is up. You want to get so much engagement on that post to get that crowd.
They hindered me at first when I was doing them because when I first started, I was in whatever I could trying to get engagement. You were doing whatever you could. You were doing loop follows to try to get yourself in there. I’m like, “I can’t believe I freaking did those loop follows.” I follow people that I don’t even want to follow. I’m like, “Why did I do that?” In the beginning, you don’t know. You are starting and trying to do shit to grow your page.
I have a group of bloggers that I still do that with but we are friends. We engage in each other’s stuff but you can be in too many. One is enough. If you get in ten, that is time-consuming. It is not only hindering your engagement but it is also hindering yourself. That is stressful trying to keep up with it. You are like, “Did I comment on Ashley’s post? Did I get Miranda’s stuff? Did I like this? Did I do that?” They have these things where these pages you can drop in and do your stuff in. I had dropped in it.
What do you mean? What are you talking about, a page or a platform?
There are group pages and Instagram pages. You can drop on there and put your post in there. Other bloggers and influencers will see it. They will engage on your stuff and you engage on theirs. It is a back and forth stuff.
Are you talking about the stuff on the WhatsApp?
No, this is on Instagram. It is pages that these people make.
I didn’t know that.
You have to finish all the engagements in the thread. What happens is people, and I know a lot of known influencers that do this, will buy packages from these people. There will be ghost packages. They will drop in those threads and get the engagement. They will pay $50 for that week to not have to engage with those people in the thread’s posts.
Somebody else is doing the work for them. They look like they are still behind the screen, engaging with everybody but they are not. They are paying a small fee. $50 a week is not necessarily a small fee. That adds up very quickly but you are still getting that interaction.
I watched it drain someone to build her page.
Did she build her page?
She got about 28,000. That is where she was at. Her engagement was good. She was doing great. She quit because it was hindering her family, husband, and kids. She didn’t have time for them. It was financially draining her and she gave it up.
Is she not on Instagram anymore?
She is but she changed her handle to her regular name. She is herself. I thought about this and shared it with my friend Miranda because we both knew her. I was like, “I can’t imagine putting that much money into something and letting it go.” She is choosing to let it go. I bet she spent thousands of dollars.
You are talking to her because I spent thousands of dollars researching and building my Instagram. I was on top of my game. I’m talking thousands of dollars. Like what I was doing at the salon, that money was funneling into my Instagram. Here I am, staring down the barrel at potentially getting divorced. It is very difficult to be on point selling a product, looking like you are happy, or wanting to share stuff about your kids when your life is falling apart. You can’t hide the tears and stress.
I was so stressed out. People would look at me and be like, “What is going on with you?” It was a time in my life when I committed so much time, money, and energy to my brand, website, and everything. My world came crashing down. I had to take a step back. Like anything else, you learn from your experiences. I don’t trade any of that experience. I know how to do it better the second time around. Look at how many entrepreneurs fell on their asses so many times and got back up again.
If I came back into the game, they would be like, “Here she is again.” I would be like, “People take breaks in life. People need their sanity.” I had never experienced death. In a matter of a year, I lost my father-in-law and my grandfather. I’m looking down the barrel of a divorce and having challenges with my kids. You got to step back and say, “What is important here?” I feel for that girl because I can relate to her.
People take breaks in life. People need their damn sanity. Click To Tweet
She seems like she is genuinely happy and loving her life. I am so happy for her because this is a hard job. It is not for everybody. I cry all the time. I compare myself to other people wondering why this person went viral and I’m not. You can beat yourself up mentally over this shit.
I did it for years.
People look at it and they are like, “Social influence is easy. They are just sharing clothes.” No, that is not true.
It is a job that never shuts off. You are answering messages and engaging 24/7. From the moment you get up, you are on your Instagram and seeing what is in the DM. “Did any brands reach out to me? Is this going on? I got to respond to these.” It never shuts off. The thing is that you are always on top. You are always busy because you always have to produce the next content. You are always looking for what is next.
You have to stay on your game up-to-date because these other people are booming. They are trying to get their shit out there too.
Do you feel that they have management companies?
A lot of them do. Sometimes I feel like I’m out of the loop. I’m not in circles or the game because I do everything on my own. I don’t have people or the experience that some of these people do. My sisters and I just did it. We don’t know what the freak we are doing.
Have fun in it. Figure it out with your sisters.
I have also seen a blogger. She is from where I’m from. She is from Kentucky and Lexington. Her name is Mallory Ervin. She is huge. She has an amazing story. If you all don’t follow her, you got to go look her up. Her story is incredible from where she came from to now. They are beautiful people. She said something on TikTok and it stuck with me. She was doing her makeup. It is relatable. She is sitting there and doing her stuff. She was talking about social influencing and starting.
She said, “When I started, I did this myself. I read blogging and social influencing books. I Googled.” She is telling the stuff she did. She was like, “I taught myself what I was doing. I didn’t have a managing company to help me. I didn’t do any of those things. I came here for myself. I did all this myself. When I had 30,000 followers, I didn’t look at people who had 230,000 followers and think, ‘I was jealous. I wish I was them.’ I looked at them and thought, ‘I’m going to be there. That is going to be me. I’m getting to that point.’”
She said, “I never thought to myself I wouldn’t because I knew I could. I didn’t need people to help me do that. I knew I could do it myself.” She has a business. It is called Living Fully. She’s awesome. You all got to go look her up. It stuck with me. I was like, “She is right. Why should I sit and compare myself to people who have all this financial money and who can do this stuff that I can’t do? They can get these managing companies to do these things.”
I was like, “I shouldn’t compare myself. I’m as good as they are. My pictures are as good as theirs without tying my $1,000 camera. All of these things are as good. I have to know that.” If you are confident in yourself, people know that. They are going to follow you. If you are not confident in yourself, they are not going to want to follow your ass. You got to scream confidence. Something I have been trying to do is not compare myself to them.
Have you gotten over what people are going to think? I will have people message me like, “You never gave us the update on those hair extensions that I was talking about.” I was like, “I had multiple people ask about that. Let me do a video.” As I’m recording this, I’m thinking about certain people I’m not necessarily close with but they are always watching my stuff.
I feel like they are judging me. It is not a good feeling. This is not a positive feeling. I know those certain amounts of people watch my stuff all the time. I bet you, they are critiquing me and breaking me down. At the end of the day, I was like, “Who cares?” They are insignificant in my life. They might be friends of my husband’s but I have nothing to do with you.
I’m from a small town. It is called Barbourville, Kentucky. I grew up there. Everybody knew everybody. If you are getting a divorce, we know about it. If you were having an affair, we know about it.
Small talk gossip.
Everybody knows who your mommy and daddy are. They know who the Terrells are. Gina is the one with the seven kids. I say this because I moved to Richmond in college, which is an hour and a half down the road. I still live in a small area. I feel like I’m living in a huge area because I came from such a small that you would think it was super small here.
The point is I came here. I started college, met Logan, got married, and started this. The first thing I thought when I started producing content was, “What are people in my hometown going to say about me?” That is all you know. I was like, “What is the hometown gossip going to be? Am I going to be the hometown gossip because I’m trying to be this social influencer from Barbourville, Kentucky? Are they going to sit and talk about how I’m never going to make it?” I’m sure there are many of them sitting there and saying, “She is never going to make it. She needs to give it up.”
There are people that watch my stories on Instagram from my hometown that I know are talking shit about me. You know it because it is that one girl you couldn’t stand. You know she is sitting there and talking shit and critiquing everything you’re doing but I don’t care. I also have as many people from there that love me and care about me. They show support. They are buying everything I’m posting. For the majority, my hometown is so supportive. There are a few that you know. You are like, “I’m the Notts County news. That is me.” I’m over it. It is fine with me. I don’t care. It is what it is.
Have you ever had any experiences where somebody tried to create drama or problems that you, Logan, and your family knew?
Explain more.
I had a moment where I was setting somebody up on a blind date. Everybody follows me who is near, dear, and loved on my Instagram. I’m trying to set somebody up on a blind date. I have my girlfriend in on it. I have the messaging to prove, even like, “I’m going to be posting on this day. You guys are going to love each other. You guys will be the cutest couple together.” I’m going to show him on Instagram. The next thing you know, I make that post. What am I doing? I’m selling a good-looking guy because I’m setting somebody up on a blind date.
The next thing you know, our banker is calling my husband and leading him down a slippery slope, which was not true of I’m looking like the one who wants to be with the guy. It created a whole lot of problems in my marriage. I felt like it didn’t matter how I was defending myself. I thank God I have the proof and the pudding. This was a blind date set up done on social media. Somebody who is a squirrely guy to even begin, the shyster shady guy, is creating problems in my marriage. I felt so abused by it like because it was not true. You’re starting problems in my marriage, which is already having problems.
I have never had anything like that happen but my worst fear is people from my hometown seeing something I post or say on my stories or in a reel and manipulating it to be something it is not. They are twisting it to say that I was saying something or meaning something I was not. For instance, people don’t move away from their small towns. They want to go back. I didn’t go back. Sometimes that can be held against people who don’t choose to go back.
It is not because I don’t love my town. I’m so proud to be from there. I tell everybody I’m from there. I’m not embarrassed by it at all. My mom, dad, and sisters still live there. I love to go visit. It is the prettiest town during Christmas time. I love it. I have many memories there. Just because I moved from there, wanted to expand, and have better career options doesn’t make me a bad person because I moved from that small town or me embarrassed by that.
I have had things like that said and people twist it. They think if you leave there and go do something else, you are embarrassed by it. You don’t want to be there anymore. That is not true at all. I love it so much. My family still lives there. If I didn’t meet Logan and stayed here, maybe I would have moved back. Who knows? It was not part of my journey. That is not where I was supposed to be. I don’t want anyone from my hometown to think bad of me or I’m trying to be something I’m not. That is my worst fear.
That rocked my world. I felt like it was a personal attack. It was something that two people were in on. You don’t know so you are stirring the pot and creating shit that is not even happening in somebody’s marriage. That was a big eye-opener for me. I miss influencing so much because, as a mother of three kids, a business owner, and a wife, it was my escape and my outlet to truly and authentically be Bethany. I did not sugarcoat anything.
I remember I would talk to you guys all about the struggles of children and working. I kept it as real as I could. I didn’t paint this picture of perfection all the time, which is why I felt like I related to many women. If I truly go back into it a second time, which I’m doing this show and sometimes go hand in hand, there is a timidness in me. When I’m posting these stories about hair extensions, I’m like, “Why is this guy who works in a mechanic shop watching my video?” I know he is one of my husband’s friends but I’m like, “Why are you watching my stuff? You don’t take any interest in me.”
I still get creeps sometimes. I’m not mean in this in whatever way towards any man at all. I’m saying I still get the creeps when you post a selfie in a swimsuit and they want to slide up or leave you a comment that says, “Nice.” You don’t mean nice, as in you look nice. You are meaning nice in a sexual way and I know it is your meaning. I automatically block that person. I don’t mean that in a negative way towards you.
If you are putting that content out there, trust me, I have heard what kind of woman who is a mother of three posts a picture of herself in a bikini. You want to talk about feeling like everything you put your heart and your passion into to be creative and feel good about yourself. I have been shit hammered down. I know I’m putting it out there. You should put it out there. You should be proud of yourself because you take care of yourself and you look good. Creepers are going to come and go. Unfortunately, that is part of when you are putting any content. You could post yourself in a beautiful dress and have some creeper come out there, especially when you are public.
It is the stuff you get. We were on vacation. I had one guy. He kept sending DMs and liking my stuff. I’m showing Taylor and Logan. Taylor and I are laughing. We think it is funny because this is the norm. People do this shit all the time. They will slide into DMs and be nasty creeps. You block them. Logan did not like it.
I don’t blame him. I’m sure, in his profession of being a police officer, he sees things through a different lens.
One reason he doesn’t like to be all over my page is because of his profession. To let people know that you are married to a police officer can be a pro and a con. It can be a con because then everybody knows who your wife is. They know you are married to Officer Lynch. They know that he has something else to lose. That is something that Logan bothers him. He doesn’t always like that. For him and I, and for me to be so involved on social media and the public about all my stuff, I try to watch what I say but I don’t care to tell people what he is for a living but I’m not going to details on what he is doing.
You have to protect yourself as much as you can.
As an influencer, you have to protect yourself as much as you possibly can. Click To Tweet
I’m not sharing his badge number online. There are things you don’t think about. I don’t think about that. He had to tell me that. I was sitting here filming the house and I put the house address on the internet.
Even when people take pictures with their cars and their license plate is in the back of the photo. Fog that out, people. You do not hear people would go on vacation. They would be like, “We left the house. We will be back on Friday.” You told the entire world that your home is open to being robbed at any point.
I did that one time. When Logan worked night shifts or he had to go somewhere for training, I get on the internet. It is me and Lucy on the couch. I’m talking on my story. I’m saying how Logan left for training. I’m here alone for the week. Miranda texted and called me right away. She was like, “What are you doing? Take that off your story. Everybody and their mother know that you are there alone.” I’m like, “I didn’t think about it. It didn’t hit me.” I try to be way more aware of what I’m doing. It doesn’t matter if you have 5,000 or 100,000 followers. You should not be posting your personal business like that on the internet. There are some things you got to keep off the internet. I’m learning but it has taken me a while.
There is a difference between having a private Facebook page with people you trust. I will post anything and everything. On Instagram, I’m not going to post where my kids are going to school and their school uniform logo. I will put a little sticker or something over it in the graphics. You got to watch out for what you post because there are Creepy MCcreeperson and they are looking for the next one. Girl with that blonde hair on those red lips, I come after you too.
Logan always says they will bring me back. He’s like, “If you start talking, they will bring your ass back.”
What are a couple of things that we can close with? If somebody is so interested in becoming an influencer, what are the most important things first, 2 to 3 things?
If I could go back and start over and somebody could tell me, it would be to not worry about the number of your followers. Do not stress about it. It will come. Don’t look at it. Don’t do not compare your content to other people’s content that is being produced. For instance, Bethany might have posted her Louis Vuitton bags but I can’t do that and I shouldn’t feel like I have to keep up with Bethany.
That is not what you should have to do because you and I have different worlds and financial situations. We are in different stages of life. You can’t compare your stage and reality to somebody else’s. It is not real. You can’t do it. The next thing I would say is don’t doubt yourself. If you want to get 100,000 followers, you got to have the attitude that you are going to do it. You can’t be jealous of everybody else. I know that is hard because everyone is jealous of somebody. We all do it. I get jealous of Bethany. You do it.
If I were next to you, I would be teasing that hair a little bit higher. There is nothing to be jealous of me but I appreciate the compliment.
I don’t know how to tease, Beth. I have been trying. I don’t know how to do it. You are going to have to teach me. She could be taking my hair. That is what I lacked in the beginning. It was the confidence. I was so worried about keeping up with everyone else. If I had been doing it this way from the beginning, who knows? Maybe I would have already had 100,000 followers but I did it the wrong way. I learned. I’m getting back up on there and doing it again.
That is looking back. There is no right or wrong way. The bottom line is to be true to yourself. Get some alligator skin because regardless, the second you put yourself out there, somebody is going to try to beat you down. It is not the truth. Don’t listen to it. Do your thing. When you stop having fun with it, it becomes a job.
The second you put yourself out there, somebody is going to try to beat you down. It's not the truth. Don't listen to it and do your thing. When you stop having fun with it, it becomes a job. Click To Tweet
Tori, thank you so much for being on the show. We will have her Facebook, TikTok, Amazon Market, and Thread link. I’m trying to keep up. Find her on Instagram. Thank you so much. It is always a pleasure. You are truly my one and only favorite Kentucky friend. I love you. I appreciate it.
Thank you, Bethany.
Important Links
- Miss Truly Tori J
- Instagram – Truly Tori J
- LIKEtoKNOW.it
- Amazon Market – Truly Tori J
- TikTok – Truly Tori J
- Threads -Tori Terrell
- Lemon8 – Truly Tori J
- Mallory Ervin – Instagram
- Living Fully
- Facebook – Truly Tori J
- https://www.ShopLTK.com/explore/TrulyToriJ